I met a fine couple once who lived together but were not married. They explained that they loved each other but were not ready to commit to each other.
In the interim they enjoyed each other, had sex and shared space. Since neither would commit to the other, they would continue this arrangement with the full knowledge that at any given time one of them would walk away if the chips are down.
I thought about that and wondered at the time lost by two people who were just using each other.
Why would anyone want to be used? Yet, that is what shacking means: Using each other without any promises.
Committment means: If you get sick, I'm there. If you are down on your luck, I'm there.
If you get fat, I'm there. If you are depressed, I'm there.
If you win or lose, I'm there.
If you become disfigured and hard to look at, I'm there.
When you embarass your self and me too, I'm there.
If you are dying in the spirit, I'll love you back to life. If you are attacked, I'm there.
If you are dead broke, I'm there.
People who shack up do not share these attitudes. They use each other as fallbacks, financial crutches, vibrators, and simple instruments of convenience and pleasure, but if things get tough one or the other will be tossed aside.
In a shacking relationship at least one partner refuses to say "I'll be there for you." What they really say is, "If the chips are down, don't count on me."
When your mate refuses to committ, then your mate should find someone else to use as a banker, social worker, landlord, cook, driver, billpayer, vibrator or sperm receptacle.
In plain language: He or she should commit to you or get out!
I told that to the couple.
Six months later they sent me a wedding invitation and a thank you card!
1 comment:
That was an interesting piece. Good thing u told them that. But not everyone thats living together is ready to be married to eachother. Btw, I don't condone shacking nor have I shacked up before nor plan on it or see it as being acceptable.
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