Showing posts with label disclaimers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disclaimers. Show all posts

Friday, June 18, 2010

If it's still there after four hours- ha ha ha-hee hee

Have you seen the disclaimers on TV ads? They are hilarious!

TV ads often carry some type of disclaimer or warning. Sometimes the disclaimer is longer than the commercial.

When you think about it, many church members have disclaimers on their godly relationship. Our official commercial says, "I am a Church member. I believe in God. I am a follower of Christ."

Then the disclaimer comes:

"The faith I talk about on Sunday may not be reflected in my everyday living so any recordings or videos of what I say and do cannot be made without my written permission. Be advised that my actions are subject to change without notice. If any of my actions resemble actual Christians, living or dead, it is purely unintentional.

I can be washed in the blood but hand washed only in water warmed to my pleasing. Handle me with care and do not expose me to any situations that may bend me, fold me or otherwise get on my last nerve.

I am a Christian but this claim is void where it is prohibited or unpopular. You must accept me on an "as is basis" without any warranties expressed or implied.

Be on guard when you hear me speak because some of you may find my language objectionable with explicit lyrics, so parental guidance is advised.

I am able to show love in limited quantities on a one time per day per family basis, but I don't always come with a pleasant attitude, some assembly is required.

I'm a church member but I don't do much, you see, action figures are sold separately. I don't pray much so I don't have much power and batteries are not included.

If your dealings with me result in rash behavior, irritating conversation or swelling develops discontinue your dealings with me for a while. I must not be placed in stressful or flammable situations because I blow easily; I must not be punctured, cracked on or laughed at or I could be hazardous to your health.

I'm saved but don't deal with me if you see that my safety seal has been broken or tampered with by the devil. Sometimes I might make you sick to your stomach, if so, do not induce vomiting and if my behavior persists remember me in your prayers.

If I promise you anything allow four to six weeks for delivery but don't expect me to help in case of flood, hurricanes, lighting, volcanic eruption, tsunami, earthquakes, oil spills or acts of God unless you pay me.

I tend to get settled in my ways so shake well before using me in any service. Being a church member is easy but being a Christian could be a challenge. If you see me acting as a Christian I am dysfunctional; if this condition exists for more than four hours, something is seriously wrong consult a physician at once.

Should we be ashamed and disclaim our faith? Romans 1:16 says, "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth.

See you in four hours. LOL