He was a pastor but he looked like a thug; he said people should not judge him.
The young man was pastor of an old church in our community. On Sunday, he preached a powerful word that was truly awesome. On other days he, cursed loudly, dressed with with his pants sagging, sported wife beater tee-shirts, played gangsta rap music loudly from his car, and was constantly in the news for confrontations with his boyfriend that got him arrested. He said people should not judge him, only God do that. He even challenged members of his church to cast the first stone.
Somehow the young man didn't get the picture. His Sunday picture differed from the picture people saw the remaining six days. He became upset when other believers rightly expected both pictures to be the same.
That expectation applies not just to pastors, but to believers, too. It's confusing to non-believers when they see God's best doing the same sinful things that they do. Is Sunday the only day that believers are expected to be holy?
I hope I give an example of a life lived with restraint, though error proned. I hope I give the image of a person bubbling with enthusiasm, highly committed and energized but willing to admit mistakes and redirect. I hope I give the right image to those who see me; if I don't then I am an embarrassment to the cross.
There is a passage of scripture in 1 Peter 1:15-17 "As obedient children, let yourselves be pulled into a way of life shaped by God's life, a life energetic and blazing with holiness. God said, "I am holy; you be holy." You call out to God for help and he helps—he's a good Father that way. But don't forget, he's also a responsible Father, and won't let you get by with sloppy living. Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God."
That young minister eventually left the church and moved to another city. He left his pastorate, all he really had to do was change his life.
Showing posts with label Pastors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pastors. Show all posts
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
The preacher was a wedding no-show, three times
The preacher didn't show up for my wedding; three times!
Yesterday, my wife and I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary. It has been 36 years that began with the three failed marriage attempts, and 12 years of messups on my part.
In 1974 my wife and I decided to get married after two years of courtship. We contacted a local preacher to marry us but he didn't show up; he forgot. We ate the food, drank the punch and set another wedding date two weeks later, using the same preacher. He didn't show up for that one either. With a week left on the license we found another preacher, and set another date. He didn't show up either.
Finally, we found a preacher, he hurriedly signed the license before the expiration date, we filed it in the Caldwell Parish Courthouse and we went back to work. Done deal. No vows, no ceremony, no punch; but it was legal.
Since that time I have tried to be a good husband.
I think the last 24 years have been closer to the ideal than the first twelve. During the first 12 years of our marriage my ministry and business persuits were all consuming. My wife and family were secondary and it caused us considerable problems as I plunged all of our meager resources into what I called ministry but were really candies for my ego.
In the 12th year I came home to find my wife crying. She was pouring out her soul and her face was covered with tears. She had followed me in every pursuit: business, pastorate, politics and community service but did not enjoy the fact that she and my three sons were always second place to whatever new venture I conjured up. It would have been better if I had a mistress, someone to physically compete with, but how do you compete with an ego based dream that was so big that it took in the whole world but had little room for those close to it? It fact, it was all consuming.
She said, "You are saving the world but losing your own family."
That was staggering. I was faithful, I paid the bills, and kept food on the table. I thought that was all that was required. I thought I could give lectures to others about how to make a marriage work; but the sight of my wife crying said I needed to take the class, not teach it.
I got the message.
That same year I resigned as: President of the NAACP, President of the Baptist Association, and as a member of seven boards and committees. I tried to resign as pastor of the church but the church wouldn't accept my resignation. They told me to take off when I needed and whenever we did take off, they provided for her to go as well.
Since that day I operate with a different set of priorities: God, family, the world. Yes, I'm still trying to save the world I guess, but I'm trying to save my wife and family FIRST, then the world.
She doesn't cry anymore. We laugh a lot. We fight poverty together. We spend an inordinate amount of time and money helping youth. We plunge into civic projects together. Then sometimes, regardless to what anybody thinks, we take off and just disappear to who knows where; sometimes without notice.
She likes that.
God gave me a good thing. Through her, he has blessed me for 36 years of marriage and two years of courtship.
The bibles says, Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22
About that wedding ceremony we never had; we plan to have one on our 50th anniversary! I'll get my son to perform the ceremony; I know he'll show up.
Yesterday, my wife and I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary. It has been 36 years that began with the three failed marriage attempts, and 12 years of messups on my part.
In 1974 my wife and I decided to get married after two years of courtship. We contacted a local preacher to marry us but he didn't show up; he forgot. We ate the food, drank the punch and set another wedding date two weeks later, using the same preacher. He didn't show up for that one either. With a week left on the license we found another preacher, and set another date. He didn't show up either.
Finally, we found a preacher, he hurriedly signed the license before the expiration date, we filed it in the Caldwell Parish Courthouse and we went back to work. Done deal. No vows, no ceremony, no punch; but it was legal.
Since that time I have tried to be a good husband.
I think the last 24 years have been closer to the ideal than the first twelve. During the first 12 years of our marriage my ministry and business persuits were all consuming. My wife and family were secondary and it caused us considerable problems as I plunged all of our meager resources into what I called ministry but were really candies for my ego.
In the 12th year I came home to find my wife crying. She was pouring out her soul and her face was covered with tears. She had followed me in every pursuit: business, pastorate, politics and community service but did not enjoy the fact that she and my three sons were always second place to whatever new venture I conjured up. It would have been better if I had a mistress, someone to physically compete with, but how do you compete with an ego based dream that was so big that it took in the whole world but had little room for those close to it? It fact, it was all consuming.
She said, "You are saving the world but losing your own family."
That was staggering. I was faithful, I paid the bills, and kept food on the table. I thought that was all that was required. I thought I could give lectures to others about how to make a marriage work; but the sight of my wife crying said I needed to take the class, not teach it.
I got the message.
That same year I resigned as: President of the NAACP, President of the Baptist Association, and as a member of seven boards and committees. I tried to resign as pastor of the church but the church wouldn't accept my resignation. They told me to take off when I needed and whenever we did take off, they provided for her to go as well.
Since that day I operate with a different set of priorities: God, family, the world. Yes, I'm still trying to save the world I guess, but I'm trying to save my wife and family FIRST, then the world.
She doesn't cry anymore. We laugh a lot. We fight poverty together. We spend an inordinate amount of time and money helping youth. We plunge into civic projects together. Then sometimes, regardless to what anybody thinks, we take off and just disappear to who knows where; sometimes without notice.
She likes that.
God gave me a good thing. Through her, he has blessed me for 36 years of marriage and two years of courtship.
The bibles says, Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22
About that wedding ceremony we never had; we plan to have one on our 50th anniversary! I'll get my son to perform the ceremony; I know he'll show up.
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